Late Night Thoughts

12.20am. In bed. Jambean riddim plugged in (odd choice for such a scenario, right?) and I’m not really sure what this will be about; maybe just everything…or anything. I don’t know. Let’s see how this goes.

Where to start…umm… LIFE! Let’s start at Life. it’s interesting, really. I wish I had something like a manual on how to survive and deal with situations life so graciously throws at me. I dunno… sometimes I need help, we all do. But so much pressure, bruh! People giving quotes like they’ll magically erase all your struggles and make life’s journey as smooth as peanut butter. And where are all the nice ass, real people at? for real, where y’all at? I’m tired of dealing with all these salty ass people. I need positivity around me. I need you to be my Guru or Sesnsei and teach me how to chill tf out because I realized I’ve been stressing over the dumbest shit and over unworthy people. I need to be “zen”, unlock my chakras and stuff. I need to be tought how to change my mind…to master self discipline.

Reassurance. We need more of that. Understanding. We could use more of that too. Respect? Throw that in the shopping cart too. Love? I’ll have a couple of jars of that. Happiness…I’m taking the whole damn shelf.

I think I just realised what this is… a post on Self-Discovery and Self-Love.

We need to love ourselves more. Not in a narcissistic way. More of “i’m my true love” typa way. You’ll be shocked what a healthy amount of self love can do. Just imagine  all those situations you let people hurt you and walk all over you because you were trying to please them and be “nice”.  NO! From now on, we don’t do that. We shouldn’t compromise our happiness just because someone will feel bad. At times you just gotta say FUCK IT, BRUH! You have just one life to live, make it one hell of an action movie or romance novel or comedy, kwa raha zako.

Become a model just because you can…chase the dream. Draw flowers and love hearts on the corners of books…or leave notes in them. Design cars, and race them (carefully), go to the gym and lose those extra pounds because you fucking can. We can do anything we want. Graffiti tunnels and highway walls, get a tattoo of your neighbours dog, wear PJs to class or work, get drunk and pass out in your friend’s arms, find out what you like, what you’ve always wanted to do and Just Do It. (Nike admin, if you’re reading this, I think I deserve some cool pair of sneakers for quoting you guys…hihi)

live a little. Ask yourself this regularly, if your life was to be made into a movie…would it be a full house on premier night or will it take a major L? Explore yourself, review your limits and I guess that way you’ll be able to really live. Set goals, push yourself, smash them, pat yourself on the back and repeat.

Another thing, Don’t air your business to just anyone who asks. Not everyone cares, sometimes they’re just making sure you’re not doing better than them. And don’t ever care what ‘they’ say. This has fucked me over more times than I can recall. Don’t trust everybody. Lesson learnt. Much wiser now. Not everything about our life should be known…be mysterious, something like an enigma… within sight but far out of reach. Learn to talk without really revealing anything about yourself.

Do you. Be you. Rock you. Work it.

Take some time and chillax. Dinner with family. Chill out with friends. Movies. Museums. Hikes. I think that’s life.

1.15 am…goodnight loves.

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